Ever wish you could wake up, roll over to grab your phone, and instead of doing the usual persuing— emails, Google news, the weather, Instagram, Facebook, Tinder (that neurotic guy sent you yet another message at 3 o'clock in the morning),— you could open up an app and learn how to be a complete and utter glamazon whos ready to take on the paparazzi with grace and style?
Well, now you can!
It seems like the Kardashians have found yet another way to manipulate all social platforms. As if we haven't kept up with these rather gorgeous woman over the last several years on television and social media, we now get to have them in the palm of our hands 24/7 with their new lifestyle apps. So now when someone says, "ugh, I want Kim Kardashian's life" you can look over to them, with delight, and say, "there's an app for that."
These apps are designed to give you all the tips and tricks to basically live the life of a Kardashian.
Still if you areanyone you know may become a little obsessed with their lifestyle, you should remind them that Kim and her siblings have a team of experts working on them day and night to create their public image.
This team includes the most sought after makeup artists, hair stylists, wardrobe stylists, plastic surgeons, dermatologists, trainers, taste-makers, gurus, lifestyle coaches— the list goes on and on.
Can you blame them? Woman have it tough as it is, let alone to be in the public eye for years and years. Did they place themselves there and accept the spotlight along with the spoils? Sure, but who's judging?
Oh that's right, we are.
Yes, the K sisters (can we make that a thing?) have each officially dropped their own mobile apps, with the absence of Kourtney. Her app is coming out later this year, which she says is more curated to speak on subjects surrounding interior-design and parenting. I'm predicting Kourtney's app will also touch on being a newly single mom while being a successful entrepreneur, with some level of empathy of course, so that it can potentially help women from all walks of life and not just the upper middle to upper class.
So the question is, who's really going to download these apps?
At a certain point I had to download the app for at least one of them. I went with Khloe because she's an expert on cameltoes (Look up: Khloe Kardashian Camille), and she seems to be the tough sister with the mouth of a sailor and a great sense of humor. Aesthetically it's appealing, stylish and gets somewhat personal but only on a superficial level with some of Khloe's endearing flair.
The app was surrounding creating lifestyle as lavish as theirs. The most refreshing piece was a confessional about the recent commotion over her amazing body. She touches on subjects concerning self-consciousness, body image and female sexuality. Other than that I was suggested to buy a variety of pricey makeup products, clothes, and accessories, which were all admittedly lust-worthy. As well as spend my days meticulously organizing cookies in gigantic cookie jars for a segment video called "Khlo-C-D." In one instance she even says, you say OCD is a disease, I say it's a blessing."
I'll let that marinate for awhile.
I'm hoping down the line they all keep the cookie management for another day and get down and dirty with some real lifestyle tips, such as, being a woman in today's still male dominated and scrutiny fueled world. If anybody knows about scrutiny it's the Kardashians. I don't expect them to stop making their money and selling products, but if someone so ridiculously famous is going to make themselves even more accessible for the reasonable price of $2.99 a month, I think we can handle a bit more substance, if at all possible.
Now, let me get back to my squats!